Multiple Feathers in One Cap

Our narrative needs to change when it comes to our perception of women who choose to be a homemaker after their marriage. This has been debated time and again, and yet like a knee jerk reflex, many of us go on to show our lack of regard for homemakers by adding the word ‘just’ before the all-encompassing role they play. ‘She is just a housewife’ tag hits hard to women today who are educated and choose to stay at home.

Image Source- Google Images

I have grown up hearing that my mother was wonderful in academics and had a great career ahead. She was pursuing doctorate in Urdu when she left everything behind to take care of me. Few days, back I asked her, “Mom, do you regret leaving your education and career for me and dad?”

I was expecting a delayed reply but, to my surprise, she promptly said, “No!”

I was forced to ask ‘why’,because of all the things I have heard before. I mean who wouldn’t regret leaving a glorious career behind. Most of us, definitely will!

She replied, “A woman is so much more than her educational qualifications or a job. Just because a women is not using her degree, doesn’t mean that she is wasting her education. Always remember, one thing, having an education has no connection to having a degree. But, yeah, I really wish that my daughter didn’t have this “wonderful” Urdu.”

I pondered over her answer for long. She blessed me with a new idea for my blog, besides, roasting me. For all those who know me, are well aware of my “amazing” skills in Urdu. Jokes apart, let’s come to the point.

India wants to know whether you are married or not and then immediately “What do you do?” Being a housewife is plain and simple. I feel nowadays, housewives face so much flak and are butt of so many jokes that we as a collective whole have succeeded in making women feel guilty of there choices. Husbands and children, sometimes, even feel ashamed to introduce their wives and mothers as a homemaker. 

Ever wondered the reason for it.

Saying that’s how pathetic the patriarchal society is, isn’t enough. I strongly believe, there is equal role of other women to make a woman feel inferior, if not less, or may be even more than men. It is observed in children especially girls that they are quite reluctant in telling about their mothers’ occupation, if all their friends have working mothers. 

Image Source- Google Images

The stereotype, all round us in ads, films, soap operas and stories shows a housewife putting on a severe-looking kurta or saree getting ready for a hot poori making session in a healthy for heart oil, while the table is laden with ‘matar paneer’,’ aloo ki sabzi’, ‘chole’– anything unhealthy you name, and that’s just breakfast. My mother would never let me eat such unhealthy breakfast, for sure. There are varieties but, definitely not poori for breakfast. A mother giving readymade foods to her children as shown in TV, is just a myth.

Image Source- Google Images

My favorite is showing, a woman cleaning the kitchen looking spotless herself with no sweat, dolled up in make up. Let me ask, how many of us have seen our mother, even with a lipstick at home while monitoring swach bharat abhyan at home? I can vouch, I have never seen my mother even with a kohl when she is in ‘all cleaning’ mode.

I have seen my mother working 24×7 for 365 days, tirelessly in a vacation free period. I have seen her getting early in the morning to make breakfast She cleans the house single handedly. She cooks food, does laundry and is also at beck and call of every family member. She can even change a fused bulb by climbing on a ladder. Despite, the tiredness reflecting in her eyes, she puts a smile on her face and works without complaining. And, this is the situation with all the homemakers and, this is the reality. Some of us may say, there is a housemaid at home to help our mother. 

Image Source- Google Images

Yeah, she is there, but a day without mother at home, is like a haggard war zone, everything becomes topsy turvy. At present since, there is no housemaid, we have become household help. Do I need to remind that how many times we have argued with our mother to even provide a glass of water to our siblings? We have a list complains while doing a single work- ‘Mom, this mop doesn’t work’, ‘Mom, this knife has gone crazy, it doesn’t cut properly’, ‘Mom, I am tired, I’ll do it tomorrow.’ Have we ever heard our mothers’ throwing tantrums like this? If she did, we must be sleeping empty stomach for years. And obviously, that’s not the case!

Call these task dull, boring, uninteresting, but you certainly can’t call them unchallenging. It is as challenging to be a homemaker, as much it is to be a working women. Perhaps she had a choice or perhaps she didn’t. Look beyond the salary slips, privileges and freedom and then only we will realize how a woman can never be ‘just a housewife’. She is a caretaker, a mother, a wife, a housekeeper, a cook, all rolled in a single cap. 

Just because her contribution cannot be quantified in the form of money, doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve respect and care. It is not she, who is responsible for her lowly status. It is us, who refuse to see all her hard work and sacrifices.

Image Source- Google Images

PS- The matter of respect and care is also applicable for men who take care of the house and children while the wife is away from home earning money for them.

54 Comments Add yours

  1. Vatsala Kunwar says:

    You left me amazed even this time…. the favourite line of this article is ‘Just because a women is not using her degree, doesn’t mean that she is wasting her education.’

    I read it multiple times and felt the same intensity always.I have always respected women but I would take a bow at how well you have potrayed it.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Megha Shah says:

    This matter seems so insignificant to many… you did a great job putting a light on it!
    It is definitely something that we all should take a moment to ponder upon!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Akhil sharma says:

    Ek maa hi asli yodha hoti hai😎

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Akshaya venkitesh says:

    This is just too accurate, the world underestimates the power of a housewife, fails to understand her the responsibilities and powers she holds as a “homemaker”! Without her the house will only be bricks and cement, she is the one who transforms it to a home! Salute to all homemakers, housewives and our mothers out there who work relentlessly24/7 x365days with no payment, no vacations, so the least we can do is appreciate them and love them

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Ruqyya says:

    Well written

    Liked by 2 people

  6. pavitra4 says:

    yes indeed!you express so well🤩🤩.. being a homemaker is never less than having a job,its even more tough to keep yourself positive while being alone at home when everyone else at home leaves for work.. running a household and taking care of everyone happily is as challenging as running a factory or even more..

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Rucha says:

    Be it a working woman or a homemaker. No job is less. It is time we start inculcating these values in ourselves . Because every job may not earn money but surely deserves respect.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Awesomely written sheereen

    Yes it is right … Many women sacrifices their
    Name
    House
    Career
    Independence
    Life goals
    Need ahead of family
    Time
    Carefree life
    Even voice

    They bind the family together by acting as the adhesive between the members of the family.

    Agar thoda senti baat karen to

    Jab lockdown mein hum sabb ghar baith k maje kr rahe they wo kaam kar ri thi

    Jab hum subah 11 baje to so re they tab bhi wo kaam kar ri thi

    Jab hum tv dekh re they bhai tab bhi wo kuch kaam hi kar ri t

    Jab lockdown mein ghar k naukar nhi aae tab bhi wo kaam kr ri thin

    Jab hum ghar mein baithe baithe hote ho gai tab bhi wo kaam kar ri thin

    Jab hum doston se gappe maar re they tab bhi wo kaam kar ri thin

    Bahar resturent bnd hain to kya hua ghar mein mummy khila rahi thi

    Housekeeper nhi aae to mummy hi safai kari ja rahi thi

    Tution nhi ja paae to mummy hi padha de rahi thi

    Jab hum chhote they to mummy hi nahela deti thin

    Sab kuch maata shri hi kar leti humari😂

    To aapse gujarish hai
    Yahan comment padhne mein time pass na karen jaaen aur unki madad karen

    Jaate jaate ek chota sa gyaan de jata
    Shrimati Kyun bolte wife ko pata?
    Bolo
    Jawab do
    Batao
    Socho…

    Nhi pata?

    Mai bataun?

    Ruko

    Shri means Lakshmi

    Mati means Saraswati

    Jo lakshmi bhi hai aur saraswati bhi that is shrimati

    That means agar aapke pass shrimati hain to aapke pas paisa bhi hai aur gyaan bhi… In short sabb kuch hai….

    Ab ye gyaan mujhe kahan se mila hoga?
    Batao?
    Mere gyaan ka ek hi source hai

    Bilkul sahi guess kiye aap… Bilkul wahi se mila🤣🤣🤣

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Gottfried says:

    Parents and more importantly moms are more often than not, always willing to pay the ultimate sacrifice for their children. It’s such a tall order!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Your words proves how good is your mother. Education is not for money and we don’t want to prove to others who we are. Happy, healthy and peaceful family is most important.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much!! It means a lot ma’am!!🤗🤗

      Like

  11. I agree that women should be given equal importance in everything and chores have to be shared by men too, I’m totally down for it. The change has to come from women too. I still come across women who want to stay at home and do the household work and it’s unacceptable when a man does it. Can’t a man stay at home and take care of the house while a woman works??

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      That’s the just how the society works, sadly!! We just assigned roles and don’t want to change with times

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It has to start somewhere.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Sara says:

    Very well written. I am very proud to be a stay at home mom. It is a role I cherish, but I also feel that it is impossible to maintain this position and not at times experience every bit of what you describe.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      It means a lot to me! A mother is a warrior, no matter what!!❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

  13. sunisanthosh says:

    Well written, she always sacrifices her life for the good of the family and she didn’t want a degree and waste it because she learns more from her life !! ☺️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much!!💕💕

      Like

  14. Ishita Gupta says:

    Absolutely true. I agree with you👏🏻👏🏻♥️♥️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks!!🤗🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  15. It all lies in your perception. When I wasn’t married or rather had children, I was very much career oriented. I completed my PhD with one child and one pregnancy. I don’t know how I did but yes I did. I am still very much focused on my career but I think with age and kids you prospective towards life and your thinking changes. You get mature. I am not working right now, I take care of my family but I feel satisfied when I spend my time with my kids at home. It doesn’t mean I don’t long for a job but it’s not that important in my life now.
    When you start growing as a mother I think the career woman inside you sits back and enjoys. This is truly my personal thoughts. No offence at all.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      It’s truly inspiring ma’am! I too agree perception changes everything!!

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Another strong piece of writing! You raise a important issue and handle it well!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much!!😊😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are very welcome!

        Liked by 1 person

  17. yassy says:

    Nice. Made me cry. You write with your heart. Sigh 😔

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much!!💕💕 it means a lot to me!!❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Amazing post. The best part for me was that education and degree are two different things. Loved your views

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much!!❤❤

      Like

  19. gldn2th says:

    This is exceptional, you are a wonderful testament to your mother.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much!!😊😊 It means a lot to me!!💕💕

      Like

  20. MONIKA says:

    Education and degrees are both different… I can relate to you.. My mother left her course in nursing for us.. And often people misunderstood her as a working lady… Even as a homemaker, she kept herself updated always..
    But here also, I advise a women should definitely invest in savings for her future….whether she us a homemaker or a working women…
    u never know what future has kept for you…. ☺

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Yes…I can relate to it to…my mother left her doctorate for me and to say she still has the knack of urdu but my urdu is not even 1 percent of hers!!😅😅 people have degrees but no education in our times!!

      Like

  21. Your article is nowhere near to dull or uninteresting; I would say it’s just informative. I mean, we are surrounded by so many conventional norms that we totally forget to value the most important things in life. Kudos, you did a brilliant job here!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much! It means a lot to me!!😊😊❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Shruba says:

    This is so important. I’m glad you talked about it here.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much!!💕💕

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Kally says:

    My mom and I chose a different path. She chose to go to work when I was young. While I choose to stay at home and work from home as my child is young. Nothing’s wrong with either scenario. Just being married and having a family doesn’t life should stop. In fact, we should pursue our passion to be a better role model to our children.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Very well said!!❣❣

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Lia says:

    Your posts are truly inspiring and so well written and thought out. Kudos, and thank you so much for visiting my blog. It feels an honour to have you as a reader. Thanks also for your cheering kindness. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much! It means a lot to me coming from a great writer herself. I feel honored!!💕💕💕

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lia says:

        😃🥰🙏😍💖 Wow… that really is kind, and heartwarming… truly, thank you!! 🌈☀️🌻🎉🙌

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Nawazish says:

        💕💕❣❣❤❤🥰🥰😘😘

        Liked by 1 person

  25. obort says:

    It’s annoying when people say “respect people’s choice” but when it comes to a woman deciding to be full housewife, they find faults with it. My mom is full housewife and she’s doing a great job. Being a housewife doesn’t reduce anyone’s quality or make them less intelligent. Shout out to all the homemakers out there.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      True that!!❣❣

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Anisha says:

    Mothers are wonder-women. Great write-up depicting homemakers deserve respect too! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much!!❣❣ means a lot to me!!❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

  27. Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
    MY MOM WAS LIKE HER MOM—A WONDER TO BEHOLD!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you!❤❤

      Like

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