A Diplomatic Brutal Honesty

We all grow up believing that ‘honesty is the best policy,’ but adulthood sometimes, may shake the very foundation of this belief. Even so, some situations need you to be completely honest while you need to go a little soft on your words in some others. In certain situations, you may find yourself at crossroads. You may be asking yourself if you should choose honesty or diplomacy.

Image Source- Google Images

Many people believe being diplomatic is nothing but being a liar. If you are going to be asked by a person, the password to your locker, will you give it to him? You obviously won’t? Where’s the honesty gone now? Please answer the poor soul, honestly! That’ll be sheer dumbness if you tell it. So, Is it wrong to lie? Yes, but this aspect can be made flexible depending upon the depth of the relationship of the person you are dealing with. Also, remember relationships based on lies don’t last long, so don’t make a habit of lying.

Being diplomatic is being able to put your point across in a much better way, so as to not hurt the sentiments of the person on the receiving end. Especially when it comes to criticism, correction, or pointing out flaws, it is always better to be diplomatic than to be completely honest.

Those who take pride in being “brutally honest” are typically more interested in being brutal than they are in being honest.Those words are meant to hurt rather than providing a helpful feedback. Also, brutal honesty doesn’t suit mankind much. It’s a defence mechanism used by most to hide their jealousy and mask their ego. We manipulate being honest depending on our moods and will. One fine day, we get up and start criticizing people around, finding faults that never existed in the first place, just because we are not in good mood or plain green in jealousy. Other day, we don’t like something said to us, as who gave the other person right to comment on our action. Nobody likes being called ‘dumb’ or ‘stupid’, even if they know they are from the inside. I strongly believe, speak what you can bear to hear.

Indeed, sometimes difficult and uncomfortable things need to be said (and honesty in saying them is very important!). Usually, however, they can be said with tact and kindness.

It is not what we say but how we say it that matters the most. In the long run, honesty or diplomacy won’t matter. People may not remember what we corrected or criticised them for, but they will remember how we made them feel. This is important when dealing with family, friends, employees, and colleagues.

Image Source- Google Images

We needn’t be lying. Speaking the truth in a manner that people get our views correctly and are not emotionally or personally hurt is all that diplomacy is about.

Consider the following examples-
‘The dress is really good but it doesn’t go with your vibe’ instead of ‘You look terrible in this dress.’

Talking about someone’s grade, ‘Your grades this year weren’t up to the mark, try harder next time’ instead of ‘You are dumb, stupid kid and that’s the best you can do!’

Explaining something to your colleagues or employees, use ‘I see you are working hard and that’s appreciated but we need you to put in little more efforts this particular week’ instead of ‘Stop slacking and get ton work, you lazy person.’

Both the statements are to criticize or improve but they way they are said is different and hence, the different impact. While, the latter may hurt the person and cause a rift, the former may provide a insight to the person and they might understand your point.

We need to find the balance between the two, weigh all the option and choices, understand the situation well and choose your words wisely as they have the power to break or mend someone. When people ask about our opinion, they means to upgrade, so give them the best possible advice without sugar coating and even without giving them a tight slap.

Image Source- Google Images

102 Comments Add yours

  1. What you expressed make so much sense. Extreme honesty especially while dealing with people mostly backfire. You made some valid points. An excellent read!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much! Honesty should be dealt with tactics

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You have summarised the post perfectly. Balance based on the situation is the key!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton!❤❤

      Like

  3. I so agree with the point about people being brutal more than honest and then hiding it with modesty!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Glad you liked it!❤

      Like

  4. Hope you’re doing good.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      I am doing good! What about you?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m fine. Long time no see.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Nawazish says:

        Yeah been busy and I guess you to have been busy too?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Not quite but I thought I should leave you alone because you’re busy.

        Liked by 2 people

      4. Nawazish says:

        Ohh! That’s very kind of you!

        Liked by 1 person

      5. You’re kinder, thank you.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Nawazish says:

        You’re just being modest,sure!

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Nawazish says:

        You are sugarcoating words!

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Nawazish says:

        Sugar causes diabetes

        Liked by 1 person

      9. Take insulin shots

        Liked by 1 person

      10. Nawazish says:

        It leads to dependence and many complications

        Liked by 2 people

  5. I agree with you, it’s more about brutality than honesty.
    Very well articulated, Nawazish. 😊 Good read!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much!❤❤

      Like

  6. Jigglypuff says:

    Examples are lit

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton!❤❤

      Like

  7. Dulcy Singh says:

    I totally agree , it is always better to be diplomatic than to be completely honest 👍🏻👍🏻nice post

    Like

    1. Nawazish says:

      Yeah we should be tactics while handling difficult situations!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Very well written! 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton!❤

      Liked by 1 person

  9. nithya994 says:

    Well said!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton!❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Joel Abakah says:

    True. It’s about choosing the right words and still managing to convey your central point truthfully💚
    Loved the examples!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton Joel. Saying correct thing with wrong words is quite harmful and backfires mostly

      Liked by 2 people

  11. VrindaBNair says:

    Appreciating people with a positive outlook instead of using a negative expression is what as a person we can do. This can make an impact on their personality by showing them a way to improve. Just adding my thought!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      True! Agreed…it matters as to how we say it than what we say

      Like

  12. Nazwazish! So well written! ❤ I think lying is usually meant to harm. I don't think it's a lie not to tell personal information to nosey people. You don't have to lie to be tactful. I especially liked your comments and examples about tactfulness. 🙂

    Have a great weekend! Cheryl

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much Cheryl! I appreciate you sharing your thoughts!❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Bahot shaandar blog likha aapne

        Paheli baat to mere pas locker hai nhi… To pasword mangane ki koi baat hi nhi
        Dusri baat pasword koi mangega hi Kyun… Mai Kyun dunga kisi ko pasword… Isme honesty ka kya role… Isme to trust issues hai na…
        Teesri baat… Mai de dunga apne locker ka pasword… Iss ummid mein ki khali locker mein shayad kuch paise hi daal k chala jaae 🙈🤣
        ****************************
        Ek aur baat
        Banda koi sa bhi kapda pahene
        Kitane bhi marks laae
        Arey tumko kaahe chull hai bhai🤣 pahenne do na

        Aur jahan tak logon se baat karne k tarike ki baat hai so the policy that my Good friend megha follow , i think should be followed by everyone and that is
        “Tu auron se is kadar mil jaisa tu chaahe wo tujhse milen”.
        Treat others the way you want to be treated.

        At last blog achha tha…
        Kabhi kabhi juth bhi bolna chaahiye
        Shayad is baat ko humare politicians jada seriously le liye aur isiliye humesha hi juth bolte.🤣🤣🤣

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Nawazish says:

        Thank you so much sir! Aise hi protsahit karte rahe!🤣🤣

        Like

  13. Kumar Harsh says:

    Positive criticism most of the times helps us grow. But as you said, brutal honesty is downright hurtful. Har bar sach bolna bhi jaruri nhi. Silence is golden in these times. Atleast that’s my observation. 😅. Jhooth main jab bolta hun pakda jata hun. I am a very bad liar. So kabhi kabhi silence ya phir choti si smile does the trick. Wonderful post Nawaz. 😇

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much! You can be tactful while conveying your criticism. Logo ko koi bhi baat buri lag jaati hain. Silence is always better if you know you cannot handle the situation😅😅

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Kumar Harsh says:

        Indeed Nawaz. 😅😅😇😇😬

        Liked by 2 people

  14. Diplomatic answers often made people unique, but the one who receive it, finds it hard to digest!!😅😁

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      That’s valid too but make the diplomatic answers bit real too for easy digestion. Can’t say amazing to a mediocre thing and expect other person to believe it because in his heart he would also know it’s not that good!😅😅

      Liked by 1 person

  15. HappySoul says:

    Need to balance, I so agree with that. Nice post Nawazish.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      We’ll have to find a balance otherwise we’ll loose our relationships being too diplomatic or too honest! Thanks a ton!❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Harsh says:

    Only if people understand this…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Earth will be a better place to live…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Harsh says:

        But the chances of this are slim…

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Nawazish says:

        As slim as our surity of existence on earth

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Harsh says:

        Our existence is limited

        Liked by 2 people

      4. Nawazish says:

        So is the human understanding

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Harsh says:

        Bang on! The humans don’t want to understand.

        Liked by 2 people

      6. Nawazish says:

        That’s from where the problems begin! Thanks!🤗🤗

        Liked by 1 person

  17. Era says:

    Very nicely put post, Nawazish
    I agree too!!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton Era!😘😘

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Era says:

        Pleasure is all mine 💛

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton!😘

      Like

      1. It’s relatable & soooooo deep..sigh!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Nawazish says:

        Glad you could relate!😀

        Like

  18. Nawazish, this was so beautifully and well composed. I love this line “Those who take pride in being “brutally honest” are typically more interested in being brutal than they are in being honest”. That summarizes everything so well. Congrats on well chosen diplomatic kind words. \
    ❤️ Cindy

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much, Cindy!❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Herb says:

    I agree with you that tact and diplomacy are important because, as you’ve said, being brutally honest is just being mean more often than not. I don’t think you have to give someone your locker combination (Or anything else that makes you uncomfortable or would just not be wise to share with just anybody) or lie to them, there is also, “You know, I really don’t feel like talking about that right now.” or something of the sort. You are really on target about being nice, which is, in my opinion, what you’re talking about.

    Like

  20. I like your blog so thoughtful, humble beautifully crafted. I wish I could shared all these blogs of yours a trillion times so all may read. I speak hours reading blogs. I call blogging at the University of Earth. I have included a Mystery Blogger section here. And all bloggers should too. Encourage young writers to compliment authors on sharing compassion. Congratulations Wisdom and Kindness , 🤗🤗😁Shalom sharing Peace ✌️

    Like

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton! It means a lot to me!❤❤

      Like

  21. Peakspeak says:

    Loved the way you articulated thoughts around this

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much!❤❤

      Like

  22. Joana says:

    😂 this hit me so hard, I can be brutal sometimes but with my friends who are equally frank as I am. But little white lies and a bit of euphemism works to get your point across. 😄

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton!❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Peakspeak says:

    They call these soft skills in corporate world😊

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      They are good, right?

      Like

      1. Peakspeak says:

        They are like polishing yourself…. But I feel one’s raw self isn’t bad too… You know what I mean… Right?

        Liked by 3 people

  24. Dulcy Singh says:

    Very beautifully expressed 👍🏻👍🏻 I totally agree, it is always better to be diplomatic than to be completely honest. By the way this is my second comment to this post. I was waiting for your reply. Please check if its spam or what. Keep sharing your thoughts like this 😃😃💖

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Ohh sure! I’ll check in spam once. Thanks for your wonderful comment!❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much! Will check it out!❤❤

      Liked by 2 people

  25. NIcely penned
    Stay wealthy healthy safe and happy

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much!❤❤ You too stay healthy, wealthy, safe and happy

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Diplomacy is a difficult skill to master–saying something that gives a person insight without causing undo harm. I applaud your abilities in this.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much, ma’am! The way we say it always matters!

      Liked by 2 people

  27. Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
    YES–MATURITY SHOWS HERE—PAY ATTENTION TO LEARN! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton!❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s what I weigh! :0(

        Like

  28. You articulated your thoughts on this with such accuracy and brilliance, Nawazish! I completely agree with the fact that brutal honesty is more often brutal than honest. A balance can be the hardest thing to find but once achieved it can do wonders!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much! Yes we have to find the balance!

      Liked by 1 person

  29. Lia says:

    Really excellent article, so well said. 👍👏🙌

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton, Lia!

      Liked by 1 person

  30. Saniya says:

    Well inked🌸

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton!❤❤

      Like

      1. Saniya says:

        Pleasure is all mine😊

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton sir!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. your blog is good value for time , love to read more from you , love all.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Nawazish says:

        It means a lot to me, sir! I am really happy that you like it.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. your post carry wisdom , Choice and Change is very well written and explained so is Multitasking …….. Greetings and Best wishes , love all.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s