Romanticizing Dear Old Love

Modern society has sold us a rank of goods where love is concerned. Love’s purity has been polluted- we have commercialized the most powerful emotion in the world, branded it through over- romanticizing and idealization; it’s now deteriorated beyond recognition leading to terrible relationships.

Image Source- Google Images

How did love get over- romanticized?

Thanks to the large number of fairy tales and Disney movies we feasted our eyes with, to the literary fodder we binge read, movies, television shows, religion, our parents and society at large, conditioning us to romanticize romance and idealize love.

We adored Disney movies like The Little Mermaid, where Ariel falls in love with Prince Eric just by looking at him and then sacrifice everything to be with him. Or, Cinderella, who fell in love with Prince Phillip at first sight- as ‘So this is love’ is sung between them. Then, there are the books. Even I was an Austen fan growing up, so falling in love with the perfect love is inevitable.

We all have dreamed, atleast, once in our lifetime of ‘Prince Charming’ or for that matter, ‘Princess Charming’, to come in white horse and sweep us away. Most part of our life passes in searching our “other half” with astute impertinence, articulation and swag of Fitzwilliam Darcy. Fictional men like Mr Darcy and George Knightly have the raised the bar high for men. To think, if girls want their ‘Love of Life’ to be Darcy, then, shouldn’t they try to be as sharp as Elizabeth, atleast. You know the best part about them, they don’t exist; so stop searching for them.

The quixotic ideas of Beauty falling in true love with Beast, showing physical appearance are of no importance, if the heart is of gold. Does this even happen in real life? To say, physical features are the first thing that we observe in a person.

No one in real life is Rahul aka Shah Rukh Khan, waiting for you with arms full open and the violins in the background. When you accidentally collide with your love interest in the library and all the pages scatter here and there, the time stops and the eyes meet, gazing continues for long and no one cares about the papers that have fallen. I haven’t seen such a moment in my life, forget about library not even in a park.

Our families and friends are not behind in the race. We have been constantly told statements like-

“Your partner becomes the best part of every single day.”

“Mundane tasks turn into the greatest times of your life.”

“Everything around you turns gay and happy when you are in love.”

“You get completed when you fall in love.”

This has made me question, the path which we are leading to? Is it spreading more harm than love?

The truth is for the longest time, we haven’t just been preached what love is but, also, hammered into us what love should be.

While many of us are duped into thinking that love is a elusive thing that we have to chase, anxiously attach to, and posses to the point of codependency.

Idealizing love this way has become the breeding ground for toxic relationships- where people become obsessed, treat each other as objects to be owned, project insecurities on each other out of jealousy, envy and past trauma, all in the name of our dear old “LOVE”.

This had lead to the falling of relationships leading to increased break ups and divorces and subjecting us to a survive a tumultuous emotional roller coaster ride, crippling us in resentment and grieve.

We have internalized this idealistic view of love and so lot of us tend to go about in a wrong way, putting ourselves through open heart surgery under general anesthesia on a loop, moving from person to person.

What love is and isn’t- is subjective.

Love has scientifically been related to the release of neurotransmitters and hormones. This means love can take you on a emotionally unstable ride where you behave like a drug addict. There is no La la hymn and violin playing in the background when you meet your partner and no sudden rains drenching you, to create a romantic atmosphere. Or is it?

Jokes apart, let’s come to the point.

Love is a feeling that shouldn’t be confined in a box or in a ten page character check list.

It is obviously not depended on flower, chocolates and perfect dates. Even if you receive flowers everyday, you can be cheated by your partner. Proposing on one knee, doesn’t guarantee a sustainable future. Love should never seek to possess but honor the anatomy and the boundaries. It depends on the emotional attachment but we should practice letting go instead of trying to hold it in a death grip. 

Image Source- Google Images

It could be felt in the form of care where you seek out for your partner in their time of distress, being mentally and emotionally present for them. Even a small visit from a loved one, on a dark day can lighten the mood and make love palpable. Travelling with them, just for their safety is another high. A small ‘Good Morning’ or ‘Good Night’ or ‘l reached home’ message, even after a torrid argument can bring a smile. Love is not about extravagant dates, a simple chai and vada pav at tapri would suffice. Being all present on the other person’s head, is not love but jealousy or possessiveness. Trust, loyalty and space define a relationship. Learning to accept that you and your partner have a life outside your relationship, is necessary. Don’t forget some long distance relationships are far better than the ones that stay together.

Image Source- Google Images

Arguing with your partner for silly issues, is not helpful at all, understanding is. Every day confession of love is not needed- actions speak louder than words, they say. I know couples that hadn’t confessed their love for many years but, they were and are still growing strong. Love is not about changing the personality of your partner but accepting them with open arms as every human is flawed. Learning difference between love and infatuation is a task that we all must fulfill.

Love should be nurtured and not be ablazed. Romanticizing love is kindling that fire, idealism is the oxygen, remove these from your approach to love to form a healthy long lasting bond.

Love doesn’t have to be an all consuming fire; it can be a slow steady burn with an everlasting flame.

Image Source- Google Images

PS- I am grateful to all my friends who helped me with this blog. This would not be possible without you.

164 Comments Add yours

  1. rashmeetmokha71 says:

    Chai and vada pav πŸŒΈπŸ–€πŸŒΈ

    Liked by 6 people

  2. Shubhangi Vats says:

    True & beautiful❀❀❀

    Liked by 6 people

  3. Shubhangi Vats says:

    So true & beautiful❀❀❀

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Ruqayya Burhani says:

    Amazing , Beautiful ❀️❀️

    Liked by 6 people

  5. Akhil sharma says:

    Bro u nailed itβ™₯️β™₯️

    Liked by 4 people

  6. Shambhavi Saxena says:

    😍😍

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Megha Shah says:

    And when you wrote about SRK, I could definitely imagine the scene.
    Amazing! 🀩

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Haha! Same πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Nawazish says:

        Happens to all the SRK fans!!🀣🀣

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The surprising part is
        I’m not a SRK fan!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Nawazish says:

        Wow!! Frankly me too!! But that was the best example I could think of!!🀣🀣

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Haha! It’s really good tho πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Gottfried says:

    Most people just love the idea of love and not the people they’re involved with!
    You’re mostly spot on! Plus you’re speaking with an air of authority so I’m inclined to agree with you!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      That’s the major problem in people..expectations are too high and cause of downfall.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Gottfried says:

        I go into all my relationships with zero expectations. Anything is a welcome development. As such I manage to enjoy each person without comparing. And there’s also no massive falling out!

        Liked by 4 people

      2. Jo says:

        My approach as well.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Gottfried says:

        It’s the best actually

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Nawazish says:

        Hey, I am not able to read your complete articles

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Gottfried says:

        Read in the app, I’m doing a bit of maintenance on the site

        Liked by 1 person

  9. christin says:

    This should be read. I shave been meaning to write a post about how love is confined with modernity. You have explained some really well points with a great insight.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      It means a lot coming from you!!😊😊

      Liked by 2 people

      1. christin says:

        you deserve it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Nawazish says:

        😊😊😊

        Liked by 1 person

  10. ΰ€²ΰ₯‡ΰ€–ΰ€¨ΰ€Ύΰ€²ΰ€― says:

    You have a great skill of writing πŸ‘Œ

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. ΰ€²ΰ₯‡ΰ€–ΰ€¨ΰ€Ύΰ€²ΰ€― says:

        Keep writing. If you love hindi language. You can visit my blog

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Nawazish says:

        I sure love it and your hindi write ups are just wow!! I wish i was that great with hindi

        Liked by 2 people

      3. ΰ€²ΰ₯‡ΰ€–ΰ€¨ΰ€Ύΰ€²ΰ€― says:

        You are always great. You just have to step up. My english is worst. πŸ˜„

        Liked by 2 people

      4. Nawazish says:

        😊😊

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Arun Kumar says:

        Thanks, my native language is hindi

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you!!πŸ’•πŸ’•

      Like

  11. So much of clarity, this post is very needed at present. Great work

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much ma’am!!😊😊

      Like

  12. Wow!🀩
    This beautiful, everytime we try to define Love, it comes up with a dπŸ˜‘unexpected explanation…
    Loved reading this…
    Keep writing❀😊

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you!!❀❀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure!πŸ˜‡

        Liked by 2 people

  13. Sabiscuit says:

    Hello. Thanks for inviting me to visit your blog. Would you be good enough to update your Gravatar with the website link to this actual blog so that when someone clicks on your avatar, will arrive at your blog?

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      My blog link is already updated on gravatar but it doesn’t show it…I’ll try resolving the error soon!!

      Liked by 2 people

  14. Disha Tandon says:

    Amazing blog!! Really loved it..☺️

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you!!❀❀

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Interesting exploration of love. You almost use the fire triangle to describe the beginning of love: Oxygen, heat, and fuel. You must have all three to kindle a fire. Remove one and you extinguish the fire. My book Honey Ko is an analysis and exploration of love. We could almost have written the book together 😊Great post! ❀

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you for your kind words!!😊😊 It means a lot!!πŸ€—πŸ€—

      Liked by 2 people

  16. So Beautiful …..πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸŒ·

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you!!😊😊

      Liked by 2 people

  17. rainnbooks says:

    U really have a lovely blog!

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much!!πŸ€—πŸ€—

      Liked by 2 people

  18. joseyphina says:

    Interesting thoughts. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you!!😊😊

      Liked by 2 people

  19. Arooba says:

    beautifully written πŸ™‚

    Liked by 4 people

      1. Arooba says:

        my plesure πŸ™‚

        Liked by 2 people

  20. -Eugenia says:

    Wonderful post and thank you for sharing your link.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton for trying!!πŸ€—πŸ€—

      Liked by 1 person

  21. -Eugenia says:

    You should consider setting up an “About Me” Page. We readers like to know about the author of the blog. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nawazish says:

      Sure…in a few days…I’ll come up with something…thanks for advice!!πŸ€—πŸ€—

      Liked by 2 people

  22. Very nice article. Nowadays everything is commercialized and branded and so does love and you can see the proof during Valentine’s day in the market.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton!! And yes valentine’s day is the breathing proof of it!!πŸ’•πŸ’•

      Liked by 1 person

  23. aathmana02 says:

    Wow! This is indeed beautiful!
    In fact your blog is absolutely amazing!
    The topics you choose is indeed Interesting and the way you express it makes it captivating!
    Keep writing beautiful contents like this!
    Aathmana ❀️
    Read. Love. Live

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much for your kind words!! I am new to making my work public and I am grateful for the love I have got!!πŸ’•πŸ’•

      Like

      1. aathmana02 says:

        I can understand! You may be new here but your words don’t make you look like a novice!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Nawazish says:

        It means a lot to me!!😊😊

        Like

      3. aathmana02 says:

        You need to socialize more…. Make more friends… And if you use any other social media, do share it there too!
        Hey.. I am a friend! And now I will be a common visitor of your blog!πŸ˜€πŸ˜ƒ

        Liked by 2 people

      4. Nawazish says:

        I have met some really wonderful people here. I feel lucky to have found you. Thanks for the encouragement. Hey!!πŸ–πŸ– my new friend!!πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ

        Like

      5. aathmana02 says:

        Me too! Looking forward to read more posts of yours!

        Like

  24. Beautifully penned !

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you!!😊😊

      Like

      1. Pleasure is mine 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  25. Apparently, you hope for advice from fellow bloggers about your relationship, or about dating in general. That’s not easily done, more so because your thoughts travel into many, many directions. Your separate observations are correct, imo. Best wishes for successful blogging πŸ“β­

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you!!😊😊

      Like

  26. Love is different for different people. Perceptions and convictions shape love.
    To some, it’s just a chemical reaction.
    Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nawazish says:

      Completely agreeing with you!!

      Liked by 1 person

  27. Indira says:

    Well written!
    Thank you for visiting my post…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton!πŸ’•πŸ’• Your blog was a reading delight!!😊😊

      Like

  28. Great Post! Thanks for visiting me and following. Love this line: :Love is a feeling that shouldn’t be confined in a box or in a ten page character check list”.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re most welcome!

        Liked by 1 person

  29. ROJEENA says:

    Wonderful write up. Enjoyed reading it. Love is such an emotion it has infinite forms. πŸ’œ

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much! Glad you liked itπŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•

      Liked by 1 person

  30. Ishita Gupta says:

    A very very different perspective on love, I must say.πŸ’ž

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton! It means a lot to me!!😊😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ishita Gupta says:

        My pleasure😊

        Liked by 1 person

  31. inspirechief says:

    Thinking about the first time I saw wife always makes me smile. We have been together for 30 years. Your post is insightful and informative. You made so many great points. Thank you for sharing. Stay safe.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton!!πŸ€—πŸ€— You too stay safe and healthy!!πŸ’•πŸ’•

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton!!πŸ€—πŸ€—

      Like

  32. Lia says:

    Thank you so much for checking out my blog. πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ˜Š This is a wonderful and much needed post. I love your suggestions at the end. Awesome work!! πŸ€©πŸ™ŒπŸ’›πŸ‘Œ

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much!! Means a lot to me!!πŸ€—πŸ€—

      Liked by 1 person

  33. I wholly agree! Your writing is really good and what you’ve written is absolutely true. People fantasise their perfect life partner and fall in love with this imaginary image!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Glad you liked it….thank you for your kind words!!

      Liked by 1 person

  34. myplace3187 says:

    Yes, Nawazish Thanks for writing about such a difficult and yet a wondrous feeling when we fall in love. I must say I fell in love once only to have it smashed and got a divorce. I have had the incredible company of some very delightful, caring, thoughtful, loyal, trusting, respectful women along my life’s track. One day I might fall in love one last time now that I am a senior citizen here. Thank you for sharing this stunning thoughtful Blog Post !!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton for valuable feedback!! I hope to you find your love!!❀❀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. myplace3187 says:

        You are very welcome Nawazish. Adding comments on blogs is important to the one who created it. Besides you are a pretty good writer and Blogger !

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Nawazish says:

        Thank you so much for your kind words! It means a lot to me!!πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ
        Please check out Our Beloved Grades post when you are free, I just updated it today. Your words always encourage me and I have a very long way to go!!πŸ’•πŸ’•

        Liked by 1 person

      3. myplace3187 says:

        No problem praise is what helps each of us push harder to succeed to be a real good blogger and writer Nawazish.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Nawazish says:

        Writerly said!!

        Liked by 1 person

  35. Followed you but you haven’t followed me

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      I did too!!πŸ’•πŸ’•

      Like

  36. I am glad I found your blog. Now I will have something new and interesting to read. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much ma’am!! Means a lot to me!!❀❀😊😊

      Liked by 1 person

  37. Vanya Rajwar says:

    I absolutely agree.
    Having been in two long distance relationships in which one cheated and the other didn’t I have had my experience.
    And the para with the subtle forms of showing love and care took my heart away. It was absolutely beautiful
    And the fact was the man who romanticized love was the one who cheated on me and the other one who was so naive that he failed to say I love you was the one who didn’t.
    Love is in small everyday things and not grand gestures. Very true. ❀️🌸🌸

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much ma’am!!❀❀

      Like

      1. Vanya Rajwar says:

        Always!!! 🌼🌼❀️

        Liked by 2 people

  38. Broken H says:

    Love is not exactly what people think it is. The movies and books and all have painted a wrong picture

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Yes…people love the idea of love instead of loving someone!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Broken H says:

        Well put!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Nawazish says:

        Thank you!!😊😊

        Liked by 1 person

  39. Krishnapriya says:

    As much as I love this one, I had this innate desire to say out loud, even if it is out of context, that fairies are evil. So are mermaids and unicorns. We’ve been misled by Disney!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Quite a possibility!!😊😊

      Like

  40. yassy says:

    You are a very gifted writer, Nawazish. You know how to hold the reader’s attention.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much!!πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

      Liked by 1 person

  41. Tisha says:

    Love basically is something which can’t be defined. It differs from person to person. A gesture which means a lot to someone might not matter for someone else. But binding it in restrictive boundaries, with set definitions and expectations, is something which shouldn’t be done. Great Post indeed. Enjoyed reading it. Looking forward to many more! Have a good day!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much!! It means a lot to me!! Have a great day ahead!!πŸ’•πŸ’•

      Liked by 1 person

  42. A very thoughtful post!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much!! It means a lot to me!!πŸ€—πŸ€—

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are very welcome. You make some great observations and present them well. I enjoy posts that make me reflect a little πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Nawazish says:

        Thank you for your kind words!! I am really glad you liked it!!😊😊

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I did and you are most welcome – its well deserved!

        Liked by 1 person

  43. Kay. says:

    πŸŒ™ “everlasting flame”πŸ”₯….loved that

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much!!❀❀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Kay. says:

        🌷🌺🌻your welcome!

        Liked by 2 people

  44. Arun Kumar says:

    Exactly, you are right !!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton!!πŸ’•πŸ’•

      Like

  45. Beautifully penned heartfelt, Bravo, thanks for sharing this and also for following me πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thanks a ton!!❀❀

      Liked by 1 person

  46. dessertflower5 says:

    Hahah love is such a mudane concept to me. So well written and so accurate. Keep blogging ✌

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you so much!!😊😊

      Liked by 1 person

  47. Ahtees says:

    Lol, well written! Enjoyed reading πŸ™‚ Love in anyform in Love 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nawazish says:

      Thank you!!πŸ€—πŸ€—

      Like

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