Everyone has Lumps, Bumps and Rolls. It means you are HUMAN.

While doing a bit of research of today’s topic, I googled “Beauty” and the first image I got is highlighted below. Furthermore, I asked my 4 years cousin which photo is beautiful after showing her images of chubby dark lady and a fair slim lady. I was shocked beyond words when she chose the fair slim lady. What could a 4 year child unaware of worlds hypocrisy know about physical appearance and be that consumed in it!

But aren’t we all obsessed with physical appearances ? There is a look out every where for the attainment of perfect beauty. Beauty for females is defined by perfect symmetry where one half mirrors other. The eyes should be proportionate to the head and face. Lips should be full.The skin should be alabaster, milky and creamy and the body should have perfect curves. Males should be tall, hard and angular. A high forehead, strong brow, solid jaw and slight stubble.

And how do we know that this is the definition of perfect beauty? That’s because we have learnt this from our ancestors and reminded everyday by the fashion industry, the ever bubbling social media and media in general.

With in the advancement in the fashion and make up Industry, this utopia of perfect beauty is considered to be achievable and who are able to near attain it, look down on others. 

Spent an hour in social media!

What do we read or see? Women with perfect curves and faces donned with makeup, 10 ways to lighten your color or brighten your face, 10 ways to reduce weight etc. Such post make you believe this crooked definition of beauty and we every day regular humans are bound to think we are ugly.

There is body shaming everywhere. If there is anything that believes in equality it is body shaming. It doesn’t bar any sex, caste, creed or religion. You’ll be shamed for being too skinny, too tall, too thick, too busty, too hairy. The general message? If you have a body, feel ashamed of it. Regardless.

It’s not only about what we are subjected to by others and it’s also about how we perceive ourself. I have heard conversations and seen scenarios like-

• “You are not fat, you are beautiful.” Enlighten me please- can’t fat and beautiful be used in a single sentence without a comma.
• “Oh my good you have lost weight, you look good.” Wasn’t she looking good before.
• “You are so lucky, you can eat any thing and not gain weight.” What will happen if she gains weight.
• “You look too skinny in that dress, wear something that hides your lack of figure.” Dude it’s her choice what she wears and feels comfortable in.
• “Dear you are short heighted and look cute so I’ll call you pokemon.” Were you by any chance going to call her Dobby. No offense.
• “You are a man and you have no beard.” Come on!! Does not having beard make him less of a man.
• “Oh my God, you are so hairy! Get yourself waxed.” Few days without waxing will not lead to world war III.
• Your inner self standing in front of the mirror thinking- “If I was a bit tad taller and my nose was more in shape…I would be more beautiful.” It is insult to ones own self .
• And the best one- typical Indian Aunty saying- “You are of dark complexion, we’ll have difficulty in searching a groom for you.” No comments for this one.

Shame has become the norm of the society and seeped in to be part of our daily conversations. The worst part is that most the these comments are used as jokes not realizing its consequences. Sometimes we even don’t realise that we are body shamed. It occurs through a veil of concern. Majority people become confused with concern for health and body shaming.

It has drastic effect on mental and emotional well being. It leads to depression, anxiety and stress and gives rise to many medical ailments like anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa etc. Such person may show increased suicidal tendency too. People who choose to exist outside the “right” body norms are titled as “lazy”, “unmotivated” or “undisciplined”. It crushes the self esteem and creates inferiority complex. Many researches have shown that majority of the people don’t consider themselves to be beautiful. Majority of the dropouts and suicides occur in USA due to bullying based on looks in school. The overall productivity of the person decreases and puts him in ill and tight spot.

Attempts should be made not to encourage or entertain the act of shaming. Whether you were actively involved or passively listening doesn’t count. Its wrong and should not be justified at any cost. The idea that anyone needs to be humiliated into healthy lifestyle ignores that person’s right to respect and compassion. Above all our bodies are our own, not invitation for public scrutiny and commentary. Regardless of shape and size, we can grow compassion and care, allowing us all to connect with each other and let down our guard.